During one wintry month at University, my bank account and refrigerator were in similar condition: empty with reinforcement three days away. The first of the month was to deliver a paycheck, and I was too stubborn to ask friends for a front. What would I do? How would I eat?, I pondered as I finished a swim at the University pool. Showered and towel dried, I proceeded along a broad hallway. I hadn’t even bothered to dry my hair and […]
It’s best to uproot a source of illness rather than treat symptoms and the same is true for toxicity at the office. This eloquent article about how to deal with the boss from hell, places onus with the employee to respond to symptoms. But why ask employees, already under stress and living in fear of a misstep, to further compensate for a boss’s fear-based managerial dysfunction rather than dealing directly with the source of the toxicity? Why take a circuitous route […]
Many spiritual paths focus on transcendence of individual self in order to experience a greater self, spirit or source energy. For those abused during childhood, however, sense of self and inner voice were never developed. Inner voice was often berated and no individual spiritual platform from which to spring was established. To become spiritually mature and empowered, process is important: First, we establish authentic sense of self and inner voice through emotional and intellectual differentiation from family of origin; then, […]
Attend the May Day breakfast, serve lil’ smokies and you’re good with God for the year. That’s my childhood interpretation. Sundays were something to be endured and church time and real life were very separate. Now as an adult spiritualist, I see a continuum: Life is spirituality and spirituality is life. With this mature understanding, I gravitate toward empowered practice that supports skilful contribution to our world. Through authentic practice, we remember–and an adept spiritual teacher readily acknowledges–that the teacher […]
Are all the beautiful people in yoga class getting it–except you? Do you zone out and give your power away to a teacher? To help dismantle spiritual disassociation, we’ve developed a Spiritual Authenticity Test. No need to fast in advance or repeat a mantra 108 times: Simply get on with it and answer these simple questions. Question One. When a teacher leads meditation, are you: immersed in elaborate past life visions that include ornate draperies, corsets and plenty of “miladies” setting a […]
Spirituality is being content – as you. It’s simple. Yet, in this intriguing play of soul hide-and-seek, it takes practice. Here are five qualities to call upon, abilities you already have, that will help you be more content and equally empowered as you leave trendy spiritual dogma in the dust. 1. Ditch a Zone Out for the Zoom Out Zoning out (disassociation or spiritual bypassing) takes you farther and farther away from your personal power. While zooming out enhances your personal […]
Communication with a narcissist is beyond frustration. A narcissist is more interested in dominance than collaboration and your hopeful attempts usually come with the hefty price tag of emotional and mental health. Letter writing and journaling provide outlets for the crazy you’ve experienced and help reclaim voice and self identity. A proper letter does not ask anything of a narcissist for a narcissist only gives as means to assert power. FOUR POINT TEMPLATE: LOVE LETTER to THE NARCISSIST What you will […]
Spiritual bypassing is a mesmerizing diversion commonly found among those who embrace the path of transformation. It is disassociation, disconnected feeling and thought, linked to any technique, methodology or practice that seduces us into a promise of transcendence, attainment or enlightenment. A built-in trigger is an underlying assumption, conscious or unconscious, that we are not worthy enough, as we are, to fully embrace our spiritual nature. We must be “other,” in order to capture inner peace. Spiritual bypassing feels as […]
I first gravitated to Eastern thought after I obliterated a relationship with a man I dearly loved. Love gave me anxiety. Lots of it. And I acted it out, thanks to yet-to-be-revealed Complex PTSD. When I discovered an intoxicating mixture of mantra chanting, bendy yoga, incense and exotic Indian food, amid a comfortable assemblance of life in an idyllic university town, I was hooked. Yoga and the path of transformation would forevermore be my perfect pursuit of perfection in an […]
We often idealize the spiritual path as one of quiet contemplation, peaceful reflection and ever-present tranquillity. In truth, real spirituality is a messy negotiation with our world, one that requires daily diligence and significant navigational skill. Certainly, blissful moments within the path of awakening wax and wane. Yet for those who choose to live in the world, rather than in seclusion, we sign up for the challenge of conscious engagement with our world. And that’s not easy. Conscious, in that […]